My World..Original song

[Today]

• TCO Fantasy Baseball 2012 by Rein [Today at 06:22:30 PM]
• Thank God for Rednecks. by Rein [Today at 06:20:25 PM]
• Virtual 5 News by Daeva [Today at 05:26:38 PM]
• WWE DVDs by gregburbidge [Today at 04:37:17 PM]
• TCO Dungeon of Doom by Commissioner D2 [Today at 03:37:54 PM]
• Over The Limit spoilers! by CRASHER [Today at 12:02:20 PM]
• Raw Deal on LackeyCCG by Supernova [Today at 08:59:31 AM]
• Indiana? by shane11392 [Today at 12:58:48 AM]
• Really?, Really?: The eBa... by LordFa9 [May 20, 2012, 11:42:04 PM]
• Need a 'dark' sounding Ca... by Rein [May 20, 2012, 11:23:50 PM]
• Best Wrestlemania post at... by piperspitt [May 20, 2012, 10:12:24 PM]
• Victims:Penn State by HalfBadger [May 20, 2012, 10:01:27 PM]
• Legacy of Chris Benoit by HalfBadger [May 20, 2012, 09:43:56 PM]
• I order thee to commence.... by Daeva [May 20, 2012, 09:20:10 PM]
• Avengers Thread (Possible... by HalfBadger [May 20, 2012, 09:09:06 PM]

Article Catagories

Feature Articles

Chicken Soup for Antigoth`s Soul

Raw Deal Articles

UFS Articles

Submit an Article

Find Out how to get paid to write UFS Articles

Members

• Total Members: 1076
• Latest: Saileagirrab

Stats

• Total Posts: 79161
• Total Topics: 7434
• Online Today: 51
• Online Ever: 492
• (August 06, 2008, 10:47:20 PM)

Users Online

Users: 9
Guests: 32
Total: 41

dilbert505
majinsuperdustin
wildmage
Daeva
Rein
Leech
Quig
swankythegreat
VelaCards

[ks_nofear]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwoHsc_sPeU&feature=channel_video_title
This is a song I wrote a few years ago and I'm thinking of re-recording it to submit it into a song writing contest. I just need some feedback/opinions/advice before i re-record it. I've been working on my voice, trying to make it better. I know it's no where near perfect, but please help me out on this. Thanks!!

[The Softcore Legend]

As far as the song goes:

It has good structure

Into
Verse
Segue
Chorus
Verse
Segue
Chorus
Bridge
Chorus
Outro

I like the change up of the electric being added to the acoustic guitar on the chorus.

Some suggestions:

1. On the either the Verse parts or the parts I labeled segue, I'd like to here the melody line change it up a bit.  I keep hearing the same 4 or five notes on both parts.  The chorus is different enough and flows nicely with your chord pattern, so keep that the same.

2.  A guitar solo somewhere near the bridge might be a great addition.  Maybe your not comfortable playing a solo yet, it wouldn't have to be spectacular, just something simple.  If you found something you like you might add it over the intro and the outro too.  Again, just something to make this some more melodically interesting.

3.  Vocally, you have this new rock sound kind of locked in.  You sound a bit nasal, especially on "O" vowels, but it's hard to here it when you are singing that low in your range.

4.  Work on pitch matching.  Every time you are holding out a note, make sure you are locking in to everything going on around you pitch wise.

5.  Add some Drums!  and BASS!

Overall a great start to a modern rock song.

I hope this helps.

--Jake Weires B.M.E.
Vocalist, and Bassist, and Former music teacher

[ks_nofear]

Thanks man, i really appreciate it. Ive watched a few videos on pitch matching and ive noticed improvement. Ive recently aquired a bassist and drummer and were currently working on this song and another one. Instead of adding a guitar solo, im letting the bassist and drummer take the spot light for a hard/deep sounding solo right after the bridge.

[ks_nofear]

Cmon TCO give me some likes and comments on the youtube link! "Or dislikes if your a jerk" ha thanks!

"The wisest men follow their own direction." - Euripides