I tried to step it up, but the image I tried to upload keeps breaking.  I made it my avatar here, and I also put it on facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/THEnickhoffman.



Also, thank you very much Daeva for your hearty chuckles.  Your answers were also competely hysterical, as always.

1)  "I'd like to audition for the Evan Bourne/Sin Cara Tag Team."

2)  "So this is what you meant by 'Package Piledriver'."

3)  "Please, just watch 5 more minutes of Leprechaun: Origins. It means so much to my boy."

I'm in, but I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm not very good at this.

Holy Thread Necromancy, Zubatman!

If anyone wants to battle in Gen V, my Friend Code is 3525 9864 8054.

Any format, and in any tier you want. (Ubers, RU, and LC would take a little longer to set up as I would have to make a team).

I'm surprised this wasn't said more, but I have to go with the Attitude Era. WWF was up against a wall and needed to adapt or die. This crucial change made them viable in the current market and set them on the path to the dominance they walk today. To not rehash what was said earlier, I want to explore what would have happened if the WWF would not have embraced Attitude. Quite simply, they probably would have gone under. WCW would have acquired the top talent, but if Jericho's book and the Rise and Fall of WCW are any indication they would be squandered. Mismanagement would probably cause WCW to collapse as they did anyway. The void created would present an opprotunity for ECW to rise up, but since two national wrestling companies had failed it would be understandable for any network or hacker to be shy about backing professional wrestling on any national scale. This could signal a return to territories, which wouldn't be bad but it would be the end of American Wrestling as a national entity. That is why I posit that the Attitude Era didn't just save the WWF, but it saved American Wrestling.


While Punk vs. Austin is the no brainer match of the Attitude Era vs Current Era, I need to reach out for a different answer. It's still going to use Punk, as he is the best in the world. His opponent is going to be someone who is very similar to him. Someone with phenomenal technical ability. Someone with extensive submission wrestling knowledge. Someone who can come off the top rope just as easily as Punk. Someone who, like Punk, had to live in the shadow of someone that others deemed was the "best". Punk's opponent would be none other than Owen Hart. This match, besides being a tremendous match up, would be about respect. There wouldn't be animosity between Punk and Owen, like between Punk and Rock, there would be respect. Punk would say that would they should put on the best match of the decade, no of the century, no of all time, so that anyone that had any thoughts that these two performers deserve to be anywhere but at the top can eat a whole buffet of crow.


Regal vs a very bad RVD deck, very soon after seeing The Dark Knight. After getting rolled, to make a very similar comparison to what had just happened to me my opponent grabs a piece of wood (the shop was being renovated at the time), sets it on the table, and asks "How about a magic trick?"

I would like to take part, though I do bemoan that I couldn't write the rap.

Does anyone use this battle simulator?  I picked it over Pokemon Showdown and absoutely love it.  I have it installed on my external hard drive, and it saved my life during 3 hour breaks inbetween classes at school.

My deepest apologies, my semester is coming to an end and schoolwork piled up. Future submissions will be submitted in a timely manner.


Congratulations to the Commissioner of D, to the Second Degree.

I'm in.

WWE: On the Stick.  While not a new standalone game, it adds depth to the campaign mode.  Before your matches, you cut a promo (either on your own, or against your opponent).  The promo is a rhythm game (Parappa the Rappa, FTW), with each mistep causing you to flub a part of your promo.  Do a great job, the crowd will be hot for you and the match will be go a bit more in your favor.  Do poorly (making the crowd not care about you), and your match will be that much more difficult.  All the best talkers from all eras would be available, as well as some not great ones for a Hard Mode.


I would have changed the Tag Title Match to an Elimination Tag Match with Team Hell No, Dolph and Langston, Usos, Rhodes Scholars,
Tons 'o' Funk, Co-Bro, and the Primetime Players.  More people get the Mania paycheck, fans get Flurry of Finishers, and Ziggler can elminate a few teams to build his credibility.  Hell No can still win, defeating Dolph and Langston again.


CURSE MY SCHEDULE!!!! My answer was taken, but I can come up with another one.  The five manliest men in existence; Christopher Lee, Ron Swanson, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Liam Neeson.  They wouldn't even have to utter a word, the sheer force of their awesomeness would cause Kim Jong UN to agree to peace.

My schedule has become rather unpredictable. I'll either have my answers in tomorrow, or by sometime Friday.

Ditto what Bubba said.  Also, throwing a maneuver over and over again if they didn't have a reversal to it the first time.  I bolded the portion of the card above to show how you can get a card from Ringside to your Ring face-down, and then proceed to play it (Pending its in your allotted number of face-down plays in the turn).

Essentially, his ability can nullify your opponent's efforts to turn your cards facedown while giving you another set of resources to play cards from.

Batman?

I'm down.

No request was even needed.

Mr. PPV with Stone Cold in his corner gave some good Cannot Be Reversed maneuvers.

I would team with Bastion Booger, with my name being Malachi Picker, and we would be Picking Boogers.

I would manage Zack Gowen, being an annoying attorney that lobbies for handicappable accommodations to be made everywhere we go.

I would turn on Rocky Maivia, Blue Chipper, claiming to be from the future and trying to stop Doom from ever happening.


Uh oh! Rocky Maivia went and talked to The Shockmaster.  Now The Shockmaster has hatched a plan!  He's going to plow through your wall made of bearer bonds until you reconsider making parts of your house out of international currency!  Once that happens, they're going to disappoint you in the ring in a Punjabi Prison match!  But wait!  You call upon Jett Jackson as your partner in the match, and they will help you turn the tide by Silverstoning The Shockmaster with a caribou antler until they make better life choices, leaving you all alone to instill paralyzing self doubt into Rocky Maivia!  The crowd goes to get nachos!  Vince no longer wishes to live on this planet anymore as he gives you controlling stake in WWE!


Actual sports are not my forte, but I can definitely give this a shot.  The blackout at the Super Bowl was fun, right?  People love it when unexpected things happen.  What's better than a random blackout?  How about randomly placed land mines in the field?  Not explosive ones, mind you, but ones that would do nothing more but propel the player(s) that step on them up into the air where an old timey fire brigade has to catch them with a trampoline.  Want to help contribute to your team if you happen to step on one of these? A separate panel of judges will compare and score how each player flies through the air and an additional 7 points will be given to the team who had the widely agreed upon best flight.  Lines painted down the length of the field will turn the field into essentially a bingo card for more audience participation, as side betting on which intersections will go off will become a mainstay of the sport.  Players and alumni will be against this at first, until the betting catches on.  Who doesn't love betting?

I'll partake.

Big E. is, well, a big man. What does a big man need when he gets angry? A punching bag. Our relationship is a big misunderstanding; I think I'm his manager, he thinks I just carry his bags. Everytime I try to speak for him in the ring, he whacks me Three Stooges style and grabs the mic. I try to give interviews to Matt Striker, he shows up and throws me off screen to finish the interview. He loses a match, he gives me a Big Ending. He wins a match, for the hell of it, he gives me a Big Ending. Someone other than Big E. is beating me up, Big E. takes care of them......because only he beats me up. I sell it so slap sticky that everytime I'm seen, the crowd is clamoring for Big E. to put some Stooges hurt on me and carry me out on his shoulders, because who doesn't love laughing at an annoying sidekick's misfortune?
 

Wanting to appeal to a more modern demographic, this Brawl for All tournament has been a Mixed Martial Arts fiasco.  After three exhilarating rounds of action the finals have come down to this.....

The Setting: Summerslam
The Opponents: William Regal and Vincent Kennedy McMahon
William's Path: Being a true Villain, William has been sneaking the brass knuckles in a variety of ways.  From sneaking them out of his boot to level Jonathan Coachman (who barely qualified due to only being Mr. McMahon's Executive Assistant), to hiding them in a turnbuckle to KO Shane O'Mac, to having his new protoge Wade Barrett slide them in to him when Mick Foley had him in a grounded headlock.
Vince's Path: Vince had a somewhat....differe nt path.  In interviews these last three weeks, he has denied that he has had anything to due with the pairings.  Vince has employed a very consistent and effective strategy.  Right as the bell rings, he threatens to fire his opponent if they don't surrender immediately.  It has been very effective, as he strolled right through Hornswoggle, Vickie Guerrero, and AJ Lee.

The two make their way to the ring, accompanied by a full posse. For Regal: Wade Barrett, and a returning Paul Burchill and Katie Lea.  For Vince: Shane, Gerry Brisco, and Pat Patterson.  They get introduced, the referee goes over the rules, and the bell rings.  Just like before, Vince tells Regal that if he doesn't submit right now he's fired.  Regal looks despondent, not wanting to lose his job, but not submitting.  Vince gives him to the count of three, still no reaction.  "All right.  William Regal.....YOU'RE FI-" Just then Regal pops him with a huge left hand that renders Vince unconscious.  When the ref checks on Vince, Regal slides something back to Barrett and then goes to help Vince up.  After Shane and the Stooges cart Vince off the to back (flipping Regal the bird as he goes) Regal is declared the winner via first round knockout.
 

I chant:
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, et secta diabolica,
 Ergo draco maledicte et sectio
 Ergo draco maledicte et legio secta diabolica
 Ut Ecclésiam tuam secúra tibi fácias servire libertáte, te rogámus, audi nos."

When Balls hears that, he stops, and says, "Is that from Supernatu-" before I kick him in his namesake and run the other way.

I'm back to compete after consulting a therapist about my rhyming.
It was tough to make an appointment, couldn't work out the timing.



_{Dang it.....}

Very true, it was a very well played match.

I just couldn't pass up the chance to rhyme Iron Waller and Nightcrawler.

Your Merc's mouth proved not sharp enough.
My force for justice was just too tough.
Step against my German Acrobat or Iron Waller,
And you'll fall against the Colossus and the Incredible Nightcrawler!

Until Nightcrawler *BAMF*s Colossus right over your head.


_{He said, hoping nobody notices he doesn't know thing one about this game.}

For the first time for the last time.