TCO Dungeon of Doom

[Today]

• CM Punk - Virtual Classic... by Commissioner D2 [Today at 12:27:30 AM]
• Okay getting back into th... by Theren [May 25, 2013, 11:00:48 PM]
• Some Cena stuff by LordFa9 [May 25, 2013, 09:23:40 PM]
• The Showstopper help. by LordFa9 [May 25, 2013, 08:29:44 PM]
• Bret hart VC by ironteeth [May 25, 2013, 01:57:01 AM]
• cm punk VC by ironteeth [May 25, 2013, 01:55:10 AM]
• RAW Deal ECW VAA Tourname... by VelaCards [May 24, 2013, 06:18:17 PM]
• ECW on Sci-Fi and Revo RV... by Daeva [May 24, 2013, 03:44:12 PM]
• Mr. PPV Throwback by mrpeoplesteam [May 24, 2013, 01:50:51 PM]
• Power Kanegers!!!! by Theren [May 24, 2013, 09:13:47 AM]
• Card of the Day/Week by Scotty [May 24, 2013, 06:49:55 AM]
• charismatic enigma by ironteeth [May 24, 2013, 02:14:02 AM]
• Who Will START The Game?! by Daeva [May 23, 2013, 08:05:38 PM]
• UFS Singles website. by njbrock22 [May 23, 2013, 05:32:45 PM]
• Virtual Survivor Series by CreedP [May 23, 2013, 05:17:45 PM]

Article Catagories

Feature Articles

Chicken Soup for Antigoth`s Soul

Raw Deal Articles

UFS Articles

Submit an Article

Find Out how to get paid to write UFS Articles

Members

• Total Members: 1455
• Latest: chory rasta

Stats

• Total Posts: 97645
• Total Topics: 8925
• Online Today: 27
• Online Ever: 492
• (August 06, 2008, 10:47:20 PM)

Users Online

Users: 4
Guests: 13
Total: 17

rumpelstiltskin
Mitch!
Matt
piperspitt

[Antigoth]

I need to set up a filter that changes "Daeva" to "Daeva". 

Yes, yes you should.

[Daeva]

I need to set up a filter that changes "Daeva" to "Daeva". 

Yes, yes you should.

So I did!

[Buddha Dudley]

Your questions, sirs:

1. Bob Backlund is on Password. The word that he is trying to get his partner to guess is "trophy". Assuming that his partner never guesses the word correctly, what are the three clues that Mr. Backlund gives?

2. Pretend that Mr. Excitement lost his match to John Cena and the GM spot is open. Who would be the best and worst choices for the spot? The only rule is that you're not allowed to use anyone who is under contract to another wrestling organization (no Vince Russo, sorry).

3. Name the greatest Japanese sports car of all time.

1.) BB: Towel.
Partner: Beach
BB: Towel!!
Partner: Bath?
BB: TOWEL!!!
Partner: Val Venis?  
BB: I carry a towel like a trophy of shame everywhere I go! How could you miss that?! You had 3 guesses! I went out there to shake your hand... Before battle! To show respect, and you showed how low you were. You will never graduate Cum Laude! I will put morality back in your life! How could you guess Val Venis?!?!?!

2.) Best choice is easy: Vince McMahon. Yeah, yeah, I know, what a homer pick considering who my audience is and his avatar. But who was better in this gimmick? Great heel, great promo skills, will not get cheap heat but actually intelligent, legitimate heat due to his knowledge and mic skills, not his gravelly voice (John Laryngitis), inability to call a proper wrestling hold (Cole), or general ability to annoy (Vickie).
Worst choice: Tough call, but I'm gonna think outside the box and choose The Great Khali. Horrible worker, horrible ring work, can't imagine what his promos would be other than him making out with old fat ladies.

3.) Greatest Japanese Sportscar == Rickshaw. Think about it, car racing really isn't a sport? Now try to drag a 500 lb. Yokuzuna in a rickshaw, and then you actually got a competitive sport.

[Commissioner D2]

I'm so in next round.  I was robbed!  ROBBED!

[Jokerfish]

i'll go another as well

[SmartAssAssassin]

Too easy to Google.

I double- and triple-checked and I didn't miss anyone, so the current lineup is:
SmartAssAssassin
Homeless
Queensryche
BigPimpin
Buddha Dudley

Your questions, sirs:

1. Bob Backlund is on Password. The word that he is trying to get his partner to guess is "trophy". Assuming that his partner never guesses the word correctly, what are the three clues that Mr. Backlund gives?

*Announcer's hushed voice comes over the TV to tell the viewing audience the word*
"The word is, Trophy."

Bob Backlund: "Championship....."
Partner: "Belt"

*BUZZER*

Backlund: "Gold......."
Partner: "Finger"

*BUZZER*

Backlund: "Winner......."
Partner: "And loser?"

*BUZZER*

Backlund: "DAMMIT!" *Crossface Chickenwing applied to partner.*

2. Pretend that Mr. Excitement lost his match to John Cena and the GM spot is open. Who would be the best and worst choices for the spot? The only rule is that you're not allowed to use anyone who is under contract to another wrestling organization (no Vince Russo, sorry).

Best would be Sheriff Austin. It works well, you get a crowd favorite who is comical and somewhat light hearted with his power, but he's a tough son of a gun who everyone knows has the hutzvah to backup and enforce what he decrees. Plus, i found it hilarious when he used to ride out to the ring in his cowboy hat on his ATV. This was an angle that was too short lived.

Worst would be Cole. He'd get X-Pac heat, and much like Johnny, theres no charisma to be found. This is more a personal opinion than backing up by fact, but i know Id serioulsy think about not watching Raw anymore if i had to deal with him coimng out wek after week abusing his power and listening to his horrible mic skillz.

3. Name the greatest Japanese sports car of all time.

The Mach 5. On top of being fast as hell, it had all kinds of neats weapons and gadgets to help Speed Racer win any race.

[Queensryche]

1. Bob Backlund would give easy clues. Unfortunately they'd only be easy for people like him, who have vast stores of random knowledge and a fractured thinking process. His first clue would be "Land Grant", then next would be "Paul Bunyan", and finally would be "Floyd of Rosedale". His partner would be confused, and Backlund would snap over the fact that his opponent didn't pick up that all of the above are Big Ten football rivalry trophies, something of interest to know-it-alls, Big Ten fans, and no one else in particular.

2. Best choice for the new GM would be Santino Marella, just for the sheer fact that it'd be hilarious and the fact that you could squeeze in every stereotype about Italian government (corrupt, bumbling, and unable to last more than 10 months). Worst would have to be Linda McMahon, just because it'd be a weekly political advertisement for her upcoming US Senate campaign.

3. It's not a sports car per se, but Takumi Fujiwara's 1983 Toyota AE86 (from Initial D) would have to be the greatest Japanese racing car ever. Takumi's beaten the best racers around (some with cars that came out 20+ years after his) with it, and I'm sure that if given a shot, he'd beat the Mach 5 as well.

[Homeless]

1) bb: *crazy stare*
partner: uh....bowtie?
bb: *crazy stare*
partner: ....iron sheik?
bb: *crazy stare*
partner: ....chicken wing?
bb:  *applies crossface chicken wing, maniacal laugh*

2)best choice: paul heyman. when he talks and is in his zone, he draws you in and is a fantastic cowardly heel in power. worst choice: veteran referee tim white, because his answer to any problem will be to off himself.

3) rush. from megaman. except that he's a dog. that can turn into a motorcycle. and not really a sports car.

[Daeva]

Just waiting on BigPimpin and then I can tabulate the score.

[Buddha Dudley]

I'm sure our buddy is penning another epic soliloquy if his previous responses are any indication.

[Daeva]

If it's an epic soliloquy about how the Nissan GT-R is the best Japanese sports car of all time, then he will probably win the round.  

[SmartAssAssassin]

I havent even thought about Bob Backlund in years (im guessing most of us havent) yet i love how everybody remembers Looney Toons Bob Backlund. The password clues are hilarious.

Dave

[Queensryche]

Paging Pimpin........

[BigPimpin]

Crazy as eff week; worked overtime this weekend which cut severly into my free time.  By end of Raw I will have something for you guys.

[BigPimpin]

1. Bob Backlund: Gold.
Contestant: Ring

**BZZT**

(Bob thinks for a second)

BB: Accomplishment
C: Achievement

**BZZT!**

(Bob strikes a really thoughtful face and holds it, presumably thinking of a good final clue)

(In flies a towel, which both notice.)

BB: Towel?
C: Laundry list?

(Backlund is furious; that clearly wasn't his preferred clue.  Host walks over)

BB: But that wasn't my clue...

Host: I'm sorry Bob, but that was the clue...

(Host is cut off as Bob Backlund snaps, locking him in the CFCW)

BB: YOU BLITHERING IGNORAMUS HOW COULD YOU THINK A TOWEL WOULD BE MY CLUE WHEN THE ANSWER IS CLEARLY THE REPRESENTATIVE OF THROWING IN THE TOWEL?!?  I WAS GOING TO SAY SYMBOL!

Contestant: Gold...Accomplishme nt...Symbol...oh, Trophy!

(Everyone stops for about a half second and looks at the contestant.  BB's eyes go glassy and he screams as he wrenches the hold into the host, who is feverently tapping).

2. Worst: Random fans.  There are two ways to look at this.  1, I'm too cynical to believe that this isn't another way for the writers to give us Deus Ex Machina without beating us in the face with it, because let's face it, it's 113% likely (shout out to Scott Steiner) that the "E" is using a plant.  (See also: Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday "fan voting").  And 2.  Assuming there was no plant involved...there would be no storyline continuity and the top faces by crowd reaction (Punk, Cena, Brodus, I'm looking at you) would wrestle 8 days a week until they break down.  And GOD HELP YOU if you didn't have their choice available, regardless of how stupid they were.  "Whaddaya mean Stone Col' cain't wrasslefight?!?"

Best: There was a time period where Vince McMahon I think actually nailed it perfectly...I think it was right around the HHH/Orton feud but not sure.  Give the fans more or less what they want, don't screw with me + do your job well and we'll be cool, but if you screw with me, you'll wish you never did.  JUST enough to remind people that a GM still exists, but not taking up 10 segments out of 12.

3. The Maniwa.  Because...I mean LOOK AT IT!  That just screams pimp.

[Buddha Dudley]

I love how no one actually picked a R/L Japanese sports car in response to question 3

[Daeva]

But come on, 80 KPH is SO FAST! That's like 45 miles per hour! Wow!

OK, instead of giving my answer this time, I'll indicate the winning answer in the preface.

Question 1 (Winning answer: Towel? Towel?)

Buddha Dudley: 5 (Captures Backlund's frustration perfectly!)
SmartAssAssassin: 3 (Good clues, not enough Backlund reaction)
Queensryche: 2 (Backlund's interest is dictionaries, not sports)
Homeless: 1 (Mr. Backlund keeping his mouth shut? Preposterous!)
BigPimpin: 4 (Good balance of clues and Backlund, but missing the little oomph that Buddha provided)

Question 2 (Winning answer: Austin/Cole)

Buddha Dudley: 2 (Khali would actually be AMAZING with Ranjin Singh translating for him)
SmartAssAssassin: 5 (If Cole gets any more mic time, I'mma choke him with a tie, good choice)
Queensryche: 3 (Scored by default, though Santino as a pastiche of the Italian government would be amusing)
Homeless: 1 (Paul Heyman would be awesome until creative differences make it implode in two months. We also didn't need to remember the Tim White suicide vignettes)
BigPimpin: 4 (Random fans is bad enough to pull you over the shame of trying to pander to the Dungeonmaster)

Question 3 (Winning answer: The Mach 5)

Buddha Dudley: 2 (The rickshaw is funny, but it's not a car, and motor racing is NOT boring!)
SmartAssAssassin: 5 (The Mach 5 is an amazing car, no doubt about it)
Queensryche: 4 (You were the only person to choose a real, existing car that isn't a total joke, HOWEVER Takumi winning is because he is a great DRIVER, not because his car is AMAZING. Put him at the wheel of a Nissan GT-R [the car that I had in mind when I posed the question] and he will destroy everyone in front of him... once he learns to control it)
Homeless: 1 (Rush is many things, but he never turns into a car)
BigPimpin: 3 (A real Japanese car, and it's faster than the rickshaw, if only just)

Final scoring:
Buddha Dudley: 9
SmartAssAssassin: 13
Queensryche: 9
Homeless: 3
BigPimpin: 11

Roster for next round:

Dungeonmaster: SmartAssAssassin

Daeva
Antigoth
dilbert505
Commissioner D2
Jokerfish

[CreedP]

...out of curiosity, Daeva, what would have been your answer to the Japanese car question...?

CREED

[Daeva]

As I noted in Queensryche's answer, the Nissan GT-R. Each engine is hand-built, but they all have one thing in common: they go FAST. Most cars in its class have motors in the headlamps to swivel them when you're turning, but the GT-R doesn't because it turns so fast that the motors can't keep up. And it's a 4-door sedan!

[Buddha Dudley]

Hailing from Michigan, I should've surmised that Daeva's a car enthusiast.

[SmartAssAssassin]

Hooray for me!

Theres good and bad news to my being Dungeon Master: I have a confrence all day tomorrow, which means no early morning and after lunch internet access for this guy (which is my prime TCO'ing time) The good news is its an 8 hour confrence on stuff i could give two funks about; i just need to attend. Sooooo, i have 8 hours to come up with 3 zany questions, and ill try my damnedest to get them posted tomorrow evening.

Dave

*edit* the waiting was the bad news, haha.

[Homeless]

Homeless: 1 (Rush is many things, but he never turns into a car)

sweet! hat trick, 1 on all three questions. also,

go cart thing, probably goes really fast... close enough.

[Daeva]

If you had provided that BEFORE scoring, you would have made a 3.

[Homeless]

oh well. i recently moved and am without internet. using wendy's free wi-fi. and it was terrible the other day.

[SmartAssAssassin]

Ok Dungeonites, here we go!

1.) Congratulations (sp?)! You've just been hired to the WWE Creative team! Your first assignment? At No Way Out, you need to figure out how to use 10 Minutes on Ryback vs Brodus Clay. And this isnt a skit, there HAS to be a match. What do you do?

2.) Pick a wrestler. Any wrestler. Now, turn him/her into a pokemon! Come up with an original name, 4 manuevers, and some flavor text describing this newly discovered creature.

3.) Using whatever clues/logic/information you please, tell us who the annonmyous Raw GM was. Anyone is game, i'll consider any answer possible, the key is going to be defending your answer.

Go get em boys!

Dave

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." - Sun-Tzu