TCO Dungeon of Doom

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swankythegreat
darkworldz
Onslaught
CreedP
bloop26

[CreedP]

Dammit dammit dammit.. first time I wish I was playing, these are some questions I could -totally- answer... (okay, the Pokemon one would be tough, but...) 

CREED

[dilbert505]

1. OK, for my first trick, we aren't going to be announcing this match in advance. Instead, Clay won't be on the card, and Ryback will be booked in a squash match. To give him his first relative test, instead of a pair of 35-lb. soaking wet nobodies, he's going to get one of the WWE alumni in the back: Bill "Hugh Morrus" DeMott, who has history with angry bald men who rampage through rosters, as he was the first man to lose a televised match to Goldberg.

OK, so Ryback vs. DeMott is the standard Ryback match. All of 30 seconds, a couple big power moves, FINISH HIM, Stompy Samoan Drop, 3 count. Ryback, as ever, screams FEED ME MORE!... and who else would be concerned about feeding a growing boy?

Brodus Clay's Mama.

Mama Clay comes out with a big slice of pie and some milk for Ryback, just being concerned, you know, and, since he's some sort of Terminator from the future instead of someone who might understand, he starts wrestling Mama Clay. This, of course, brings out Brodus, absolutely as fast as he can jiggle on down, which of course gives Ryback time to pin Mama Clay and tack one more onto his winning streak.

Brodus hits the ring with fire in his eyes, Ryback's light up because he's finally getting the challenge he wants, and away we go. For once, the standard squash tricks each uses don't work, and they actually have to fight. Brodus starts throwing his weight around as best he can, Irish whipping Ryback into the corner for some Ho Train splashes, jogging clotheslines, leg drops, and here and there the odd slam and headbutt. Ryback takes absolutely everything Brodus throws at him, and gives back in kind. Along with some chop-socky punches and kicks, Ryback unloads with his full arsenal of suplexes, some DDTs, clotheslines and shoulder blocks, and even a very impressive powerslam.

Ryback finally takes advantage of Clay's slowness, and wears him down. Chop block to the knee, and he hoists him up for the Stompy Samoan... but he's not stomping. Hell, he's barely moving. Clay's weight distribution, plus his fighting to get free, are making it difficult for Ryback to pull off the maneuver properly. Ryback has to let him go, and Clay takes advantage of the opportunity to fight back. He punches some, kicks some, and knocks Ryback down. He wants it over and done, so Clay's doing something he just doesn't do. He's going up top.

Clay goes up, he wobbles a bit since he's not used to the high rent district, and this gives Ryback time to recover. One ram into the corner, and Clay's crotched on the top. Ryback climbs up the turnbuckle with Clay, and busts out a throat slash. He wants this one done. Ryback grabs him for a vertical suplex on the top rope... and holds Clay up... and holds him... and turns him over... into a top rope Jackhammer. Clay and Ryback go through the ring, Ryback lands on top, the ref very gingerly lowers himself down next to the gaping hole in the ring, 1, 2, 3! Ryback wins, debuts a new finisher (or, rather, appropriates an old finisher, but really that happens all the time these days) and looks stronger than ever. Meanwhile, at least there's still pie and milk at ringside for Mama Clay to console Brodus with.

2. Well, I was going to make RVD into a Pokemon, but there actually is a Pokemon named Weedle. Who knew?

Anyway, my entry is Randy Orton, or Roidlypuff. Roidlypuff is, as most wrestlermon are, a Fighting-type Pokemon, with fairly high HP, attack, and speed, and lower marks for defense.

Roidlypuff's attacks:

Pound - A basic attack, used to the point of annoyance. Roidlypuff actually gets no benefit from using this attack more than 20 times a match, but he thinks he does.

Wake-Up Punt - A high-power attack which is more accurate if Pound or Disable Old Man have been used just prior.

Disable Old Man - Super Effective against Legend-type or Rock-type mons, but all other types are resistant to it.

Rest Hold - It's not very effective on opponents, but it sure puts the audience to sleep.

Pokédex entry: Seems to hear voices in its head, which tell it to use Rest Hold, over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

3. I had my suspicions about the anonymous Raw GM for quite some time. Was it Austin? Was it Rock? Could it have been Michael Cole, trying to put one over on all of us? I thought about it, and had to disregard them all. One answer, though, kept bubbling to the surface, throughout it all. First, though: It couldn't be Austin. While the GM did use Austin's catch phrases for a while, Austin would have kept it up, instead of switching to someone else's. He has too much pride to mask himself in that fashion for too long, so it wouldn't be him. The Rock? Hardly. Dwayne the Dwayne Johnson always wanted to be a star. The star. The biggest, brightest, shining star in the industry, and his ego would never, ever let him remain "anonymous."

Now, how about Michael Cole? A strong contender, of course, as his style is to speak loudly and hide behind whatever excuse he can, but it couldn't be him, and the source of my certitude was the most unlikely of places: the cameraman. During one of Cole's interminable "e-mails from the GM," I saw a most curious thing. The laptop was open, there was a document open on the screen... but Cole was ignoring that. He was reading from the plain, white piece of paper laying overtop the keys. If the laptop was really the source of the GM's "e-mails," there would be no white piece of paper, would there? And if Cole was the GM, there would be no need for anything at all, since he could trigger an "e-mail" just by making it up on the spot. No, this had to be someone of such intellectual force and prodigious predicting ability that he could generate these time-sensitive "e-mails" not just as events happened, but before the show even began, so Cole could have his little white safety blanket.

Now, what man could possibly have this skill? It might seem odd, but since the GM had to predict what was going to be on the show, it's possible that he was foreseeing not just the events of the show, but his eventual career. Yes, without question, doubt, or fear of failure, I hereby introduce to you the one man capable of projecting events on Raw without even so much as revealing himself as a WWE Superstar. Your anonymous General Manager, your intellectual savior, Damien Sandow!

You're welcome.

[Jokerfish]

Question 1: Ryback VS Brodus Clay
Clay comes out first, Dancers in tow.Starts Funkin it up in da hiz-ous. Ryback makes his entrance early cutting the dancing short. Cole makes some crack about how Ryback wants to be feed more and Brodus should be fed less as Ryback enters the ring.
The match starts slow with some traded punches and neither man to fazed. Then they trade no selling shoulder blocks.
Ryback goes for a Lariet but Brodus gets him in a capture suplex and chucks him across the ring. Brodus goes to work on Ryback in the corner, Shoulder thrusts into a ten count punch. Brodus goes for a back splash in the corner and misses as Ryback moves out of the way. Ryback sets him up for his wind up Lariat and connects. Pinning attempt ends at a 2 count.
Ryback Pick up Brodus on his shoulders for his stomping Samoan drop and connects. He slaps his head and Yells it's over, Finished.Goes for the Jackhammer and has him up for it, They weight is to much and Ryback falls on top of him for a pin. Resulting in a quick 2 count.  Ryback gets picked up and whipped at the ropes. This leads to another suplex and a New move for Brodus(at least I think it is new) The Pterodactyl Claw. It is a regular double shoulder claw but he does a little bit of his dancing before. Ryback is now in the longest mach of his carrier(at least as Ryback anyway). ryback fights out of it delivers some clothes lines knocks brodus down. Sets Brodus up for a spear and hits it(Thus proving he is Goldberg 2.0)This also knocks the ref out when Brodus falls back. Sets up for the Jackhammer again hangs it briefly than hits it. Ryback goes for the cover.  In comes every jobber he's thrashed since coming back. This breaks up the pin. Ryback Starts annihilating the jobbers. This distracts Ryback long enough for Brodus to catch him and hit the T-bone suplex followed by the pin for the win. Afterwords the Jobbers and Brodus end with the segment with dancing.
In summery Yeah the streaks ends but Ryback looks strong still because Brodus needed an army of Jobbers to pin him.  

Question 2:Pokemon
This seems like an obvious choice fore me The one wrestler I'd pick to pokefy would be Sin Cara. Kids love him, He comes in different colors. Each color representing a different element meaning Trainers would have to collect more than one, and he could learn a couple of HM's like Fly and Dive.
He would be a Flying/(color element) pokemon
His moves would be Splash,Counter,Whirlwind,Submission

Question 3:Seeing as The GM was quoting  multiple superstars. It leads me to believe one thing about the Raw GM. He isn't anyone that the GM quoted. The GM was trying to work up excitement and also to mess with the crowd(something this person enjoys doing way to much). We know he hates Bret Hart which means He has a history with him. Other than Shawn Michaels(Not him because they buried the Hatchet)and HHH(because of shawn/vince connection) the only people wouldn't like bret hart would be a Pre attitude wrestler, a WCW wrestler or stone cold(already eliminated because of earlier statement). The GM was mostly heel unless it invovled Nexus. Nexus was Bad for business. So People who I could have been hired at the time that they could/would have hired for the GM position. HHH(I don't remember if he was quoted during that span or not) Ted Dibiase Sr,Dusty Rhoades,Macho Man, or Ric Flair. HHH, Rhoades and Dibiase would have been good choices but they would have wanted something really, really exciting choices Flair had left for TNA at that point leaving only one conceivable person.
 Macho Man Randy Savage was going to be the GM. This was delayed for a reveal for a number of reason.  
1 they were having trouble landing him for a Legends contract that they could agree to thus the drawn out storyline.
Reason 2 The HoF. They wanted Macho man to become the Marquee name for the HoF the next year. they wanted to wait until  2012 to induct him in the HoF. As to not detract from Michaels retiring. (I would be surprised if Macho doesn't get in this year as Last year Edge sudden retirement made him the marquee name along with the horsemen).
3: His Death. Macho died  and creative went into scramble mode. They couldn't find a replacement who would be a bigger surprise than Macho and left the whole of this storyline to Creative. It just ended looking like another botched Storyline because they couldn't come up with a better finish.

[Antigoth]

1.) Congratulations (sp?)! You've just been hired to the WWE Creative team! Your first assignment? At No Way Out, you need to figure out how to use 10 Minutes on Ryback vs Brodus Clay. And this isnt a skit, there HAS to be a match. What do you do?

Short and simple - it's booked as the match.
Next week on Raw they both destroy Jobbers.
Johnny Ace interrupts the match before it can start.
"What the fans really want to see, is you two face off on the Grandest stage of them all!"
"So instead tonight, you will compete to see who can win their match the fastest!"

Competing squash matches less then 2 minutes each, with intros, and interruptions, followed by stare down = 10 minutes  used. 
Some how both matches are exactly the same amount of time

2.) Pick a wrestler. Any wrestler. Now, turn him/her into a pokemon! Come up with an original name, 4 manuevers, and some flavor text describing this newly discovered creature.

Pick a Wrestler: Cena
Pokename: Cena-chu!
4 Maneuvers:
1)Shoulder Bump! - Does 20 Damage. Cannot be used if Cena-chu is at full HP. Your opponent discards 2 cards. Return Cena-chu to full HP.
2)You can't see me! - Ignore your opponents next attack. Does 50 times 5 damage.
3) Flip-over - 50 damage, and don't apply weakness and resistance to this damage.
4) STFU - Before doing damage, count the remaining HP of the defending Pokemon and Cena-Chu. If the defending Pokemon has fewer HP, Cena-Chu automatically wins.

Cena-Chu is the new ultimate pokemon. He is Loyal to his owner, and is dependable. His owners often Respect him because of his Hustle, in how quickly he will defeat other Pokemon.

3.) Using whatever clues/logic/information you please, tell us who the annonmyous Raw GM was. Anyone is game, i'll consider any answer possible, the key is going to be defending your answer.

Big Show.
You've seen Show-Kishi and Show's other impersonations of Wrestlers including Hulk Hogan and the like. For those astute watchers, his stealing tag lines was the give away that it was show.

What were they going to do with Show as the Anonymous GM? You never asked that.

[Daeva]

Brodus vs. Ryback: This is a very basic big man vs. big man match, trading shoves, headbutts, trying to lift each other for power moves and failing, but I have one spot that I absolutely need to include. The match is the second on the card (why will become apparent very shortly). Brodus is wiped out in the corner, lounging against the turnbuckles. Ryback calls to the crowd before he charges at Clay with a full head of steam, lowering his head to ram him with a giant shoulder shove into the corner. Brodus escapes to the side as Ryback leaves his feet, ramming through the air and into the ringpost head-first. The post buckles from the immense power of Ryback's head and dents inward, cocking the ringpost at a 25-degree angle and looking absolutely SICK. Brodus lifts his hands and shouts, loud enough for half the arena to hear, "My bad!" Ryback, meanwhile, pulls his head out of the post, and he's completely unharmed. He reaches up, smacks his noggin a couple of times with his open hand, and yells, "METAL! MACHINE!" (The ringpost is NOT real, and the first match will avoid using it as much as possible. The section that Ryback will skull bash will be made of cardboard so it can crumple in, and a convienient hinge will give the bend in the post.) Ryback wins via backpack stunner, because it would look absolutely monstrous and propel him to being more than a jobber squasher.

Pokemon: Holy recycled content everybody, it's Ryback! I don't even have to change his name! He would be Fighting / Steel since his ring tights depict an engine and he would look like a stylized, mechanized Rock 'em Sock 'em Robot. His four moves are Take Down, Skull Bash, Dynamic Punch, and his unique move, Metal Slam, which is super effective against Steel-types and Fighting-types as well as the normal resistance/bonuses for being a Steel move. His special attribute is Double Hit, his attacks damage both opposing Pokemon in a double battle, regardless of how many they usually hit.

Anon GM: The anonymous GM is Eugene. He's quoting all of the big-name wrestlers, after all! When the reveal finally comes, he plays up the special character for about 2 minutes before he breaks it and says something along the lines of, "You people pitied me, because you thought I was slow. Well I was clever enough to fool all of you AND to manipulate the locker room into exactly the position that I wanted it to be in! Uncle Eric taught me more than he'll ever know!" He heel turns into Raw GM Eugene Bischoff and does things similar to what Big Johnny is doing, but without the overt favoritism. It turns the loveable, special kid-turned-wrestler into a monster, monster heel, and the fans would have never seen it coming.

[kbjone]

Count me in for next round... Anyone else?

[Rein]

*raises hand*

[Queensryche]

Same! I'm in next round.

[Daeva]

Just waiting on our dear Commissioner to wrap this round.

[Commissioner D2]

**gracefully bows out of this round**

[kbjone]

Dammit dammit dammit.. first time I wish I was playing, these are some questions I could -totally- answer... (okay, the Pokemon one would be tough, but...) 

CREED

If D2's really out of this round, I don't think anyone'll complain TOO loudly if you take his place.

[Daeva]

I know that I wouldn't complain. Hop on it!

[CreedP]

Thanks, but its all good, I have enough to keep me busy.  Besides

1) I'd give the 'right' answer to keep both guys strong, but it wouldn't be as entertaining.  (Except the part where they try and get Ryback to dance afterward, and he's actually embarassed about declining, lol)

2) I know jack about Pokemon, and my response would have been the 'Cena only knows 4 moves' joke

3) I read recently that they meant for it to be Trump, and now Vince isn't interested in closing out that angle, even as an 'aside'.  I'd have said it was Shawn Michaels, probably.  Though more logic and less funny, like #1...

I'm waaaay too overanalytical for this stuff. 

CREED

[CharismaticZero]

lol!  Those are some awesome answers.

[Queensryche]

In that case, since D2 has bowed out and Creed doesn't want to participate, We can end the round early. SmartAss can go ahead and score the round. In this case, he'll score on a scale of 2-5, and as always cannot use the same score twice.

[SmartAssAssassin]

Jeez these anwers were all really good, so im gonna give the obligatory please dont get offended if you get a 2, these are hard to judge, and im going to go with what i liked best. I have NO real set criteria for my ranking on these, other than, im going to try to figure out which ones i liked most, and viola, score.

Question 1) Goldberg vs Viscera (Excuse me, i mean) Ryback vs Brodus Clay.

Scoring - I was thoroughly impressed with the detail everybody put in. This was geared toward being just plain silly. The best part is all these answers are great beacuse its something we'd never see in the WWE, it's just too much detail, but we can all dream.

Let me just say again, before i score these, the answers to this question were the best of the lot.

Dilbert - 3
Jokerfish - 5 (I think the comment from Cole about Ryback being fed more and Brodus fed less set this one apart from all the others.)
Daeva - 4
Antigoth -2

Question 2) Wrestlermon! (Name stolen from Dilbert)

Dilbert - 4
Jokerfish - 2
Daeva - 3
Antigoth - 5 (Cena seems like he'd be easy to poke-ize but you did it perfectly, so the 5 is for you!)

Question 3) General Manager........?

I liked that everybody picked what i consider semi-realistic choices. Maybe not realistic in that these guys are still employed by the WWE, or that they'd get this big a push, but realistic in that everybody did a kick ass job at defending their choice and making it make sense.

Dilbert - 2
Jokerfish - 4
Daeva - 5
Antigoth - 3

So then, our score totals are as follows:

Dilbert - 9
Jokerfish - 11
Daeva - 12
Antigoth - 10

So in another close one, Daeva wins, and im starting to think he's too good at this 

Dave

[Daeva]

So for the next round, we have:

SmartAssAssassin
kbjone
Rein
Queensryche


Just need one more masochist participant!

[Jokerfish]

Considering how close I was to victory i'll go again unless there is a rule stating that I have to wait a round.

[Queensryche]

Considering how close I was to victory i'll go again unless there is a rule stating that I have to wait a round.

Sadly, there is. You have to sit this one out.

[Daeva]

Just need one more victim for this round to start!

[maskedllama]

I'll....ummm... I'll give it a shot.  *GULP*

[Daeva]

SmartAssAssassin
kbjone
Rein
Queensryche
maskedllama

We are ON!

Question 1: You are walking into a bar and-
<STATIC>
I'm here to show the world, I'm here to show the world!

'Sup, kids. I got bored with hacking Ryder so I figured I'd hack the Dungeon of Doom instead 'cause I am so damn sick of being so damn sick. So here's what I wanna know: how would you turn me, Dolph Ziggler, the show stealer, the show off, face, without getting me shipped off to Ryderland... I mean Superstars. Later, marks.

Question 2: You're going out to the beach with Sergeant Slaughter and-
<STATIC>

The following announcement has been paid for by the new World order.

Hey, yo. Time for a survey, and here's all I wanna know: ol' Vinny Mac decides that Raw isn't interesting anymore, and he knows what he wants to see: the n... W... o. Pick 5 people and make a new new World order for 2012. Score one for the good guys.

Question 3: Man Mountain Rock has just taken the stage and...
<BEEP BOOP BEEP BOOP>

...and I have just received an e-mail from the anonymous Raw General Manager. And I quote...

"For our final question on this edition of the Dungeon of Doom, I have decided to come at things from a completely different angle. Pretend that all of the current championship belts spontaneously switch brands. Pick out new champions for each belt and defend your choices. Due to the unique cross-brand nature of the Tag Team Championship, it will be excluded from this exercise."

Good luck!

[kbjone]

1: Easy. Keep doing what's going on now (Vickie-Ziggler-Swagger), with Swagger getting more and more jealous/angry/extra lispthy at Vickie's attention to Dolph. Eventually, Swagger challenges Ziggler to a match for Vickie's... ahem... "services".

Anyone who can't see where this is going, please turn in your fan-card now.

... during the match, Vickie tries to throw Ziggler a weapon... but overthrows it accidentally on purpose, straight to Swagger. Swagger KOs Ziggler... and is caught by the ref. DQ Swagger, Ziggler keeps Vickie... except for the part where she unceremoniously retires within a minute of the bell ringing. Apparently she REALLY wanted Swagger to win, shocker.

Ziggler gets sympathy/appreciation from the fans for helping get rid of Vickie (WWE frame of mind), and in the Vickie-less rematch, DESTROYS Swagger. He can move on to bigger and better things from there, culminating in his first REAL championship, defeating Cena at Wrestlemania 29 and helping FINALLY turn Cena heel.

2: Let's see... "invaders", "strong opposition", "rebels", PERFECT!

Cena, Orton, Batista (throw money at him), Mysterio, and... HHH. Nah, just kidding. 

Okay, NWO 2012 in the WWE... let's take the playbook out of 1997. Nearest "competition" is TNA. So we'll bring in three TNA guys to kickstart this with a bang.

First "invader": Kurt Angle. He pops up on Raw unannounced, out of the audience, and just SHOOTS off on Vinnie Mac, HHH, and whatever else he wants. Hell, he can even get a backstage ambush on someone... Hey Randy, STEAL THIS, female dog! (Angle Slam on the concrete backstage).

Fast Forward a week, and Angle's brought a "friend": The "Blueprint", Matt Morgan. No speech impediment, no clumsiness... he DESTROYS some random jobber, also coming out the audience, say right after a Ryback match. Cart the jobber off, and show Angle + Morgan being "escorted" away by armed cops. They throw out a challenge to ANY two WWE "Superstars" for a wrestling match at the next PPV. We'll let Orton and someone else accept on behalf of the Superstars.

The tag match is a cover... for the third man makes his debut at the PPV: KENNEDY! Orton's tag partner is KOed quickly, and Orton gets ragdolled in a 3-on-1... various superstars trying to stop it are unceremoniously ejected, Orton's left a bloody mess in the center of the ring.

Someone had to help the three "intruders" get in... we'll spend a couple of weeks ferreting out the "traitor". What could Angle, Morgan, and Kennedy have in common... other than a hatred for the WWE?

We eventually discover the "benefactor", and also the fourth member on a random RAW: Paul Heyman and BROCK LESNAR! Brock's pissed at his lack of star treatment, Heyman's never been a fan of Vinnie Mac... And Heyman's also never been one to miss a chance at the spotlight.

The four go on a rampage, anyone below the main event is easily disposed of, and sometimes carted out. But they still want a true "insider"...  they try recruiting anyone and everyone at main event level. And everyone turns them down. Some respectfully (D. Bryan: "I respect those guys, and what they can do, but I have my own path to carve out"), some disrespectfully (Punk: "Yeah, join up with a pain-piller (Angle), a probable steroid user (Morgan), an asshole lover (Kennedy), and "Kool-Aid" Heyman and Lesnar? HELL NO.")... but all say no.

We build to the first Wargames in over a decade... Hell In A Cell with WG rules.

Angle/Morgan/Kennedy/Lesnar/??? vs.
Cena/Punk/Sheamus/Ryback/Orton

The NWO's 5th man doesn't come out immediately... After 30 minutes of hell, everyone's temporarily KOed, recovering. The lights go out... more beatdown sounds... they come on... and left standing are Angle, Morgan, Kennedy, Lesnar... AND THE ROCK! Cue another massive beatdown, with Orton being almost literally beat out of the cage. The others are also busted open/knocked out, and it takes HHH throwing in the towel to end it.

Why Rock? He respects Angle, respects Lesnar, respects Morgan, and tolerates Kennedy. Also, he's decided that the only way to make Cena grow any balls is to truly challenge him. One-on-One at Wrestlemania's nice, but Cena was still an ass. And Lesnar's treatment really peeved him off... thinking he might get the same if/when his "gravy train" runs out.

3: Why wouldn't I just swap belt holders...

Punk gets WHC, Sheamus gets WWE
Christian gets US, Marella gets IC

Now, if we're talking three months from now:

Punk retains WHC against Bryan/Ziggler (Vickie and Ace working together).
Sheamus loses WWE to Del Rio, who loses it to a PISSED OFF LESNAR. Setting up Sheamus-Lesnar... just two big- ole' boys beating the hell out of each other. And this time, Lesnar WINS the first match.
Christian retains US against Cody Rhodes/Jack Swagger.
Santino dies against Ryback, who makes the IC belt his own property for a while.

[kbjone]

Have I scared everyone else with my outstanding (coughbullshitcough) answers?

[maskedllama]

I'm gonna let CM Punk say it best...I'm thinking! (Clip may contain inappropriate language) 

In all honesty, I have 2 answers ready, but didn't find any spare time to post them last night.  I will tonight though along with the 3rd one.

Thing to remember as a manager:
1) You can only do what you can do.
2) Let it go
3) How do we do it better next time