TCO Dungeon of Doom

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• Which WWE Mid-Star would ... by dilbert505 [May 23, 2013, 02:15:20 PM]
• Cowbell by Commissioner D2 [May 23, 2013, 12:30:42 PM]

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• (August 06, 2008, 10:47:20 PM)

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CreedP
ziggy zenf
Buddha Dudley
Supernova
Commissioner D2
BigPimpin

[necrobaron75]

Am I in this?
Noone's told me anything...

[Buddha Dudley]

It appears that you are.

[necrobaron75]

Then I'll post mine tomorrow

[dilbert505]

Sorry; been sidetracked (mainly by not having a clue how to answer a couple of these.) I'll get something in tomorrow if I can.

[necrobaron75]

Thanks, Daeva. I'm really surprised I won because everyone had some great answers and ideas.   You can't go wrong with a singing crab, I suppose. Although, I do get nervous every time I tick off someone with assassin in his username.  Looks like I get to spend Gen-Con hiding from anyone dressed as Ezio Auditore.

Oh yeah, before I forget, Happy Father's Day to everyone.  Be sure to call your dads and tell them how awesome they are.  

Oh yeah, you are all waiting for questions to answer.

1) For many, Wrestlemania X7 is considered the best Wrestlemania.  What did X7 have that none of the others had?  A GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL! The Gimmick Battle Royal featured 19 superstars with silly gimmicks such as Duke "The Dumpster" Droese, The Gobbledy-Gooker, and the Goon, although it also included legendary gimmicks like Hillbilly Jim, Iron Sheik, and Sgt Slaughter.  If Wrestlemania 29 has a gimmick battle royal, what three people would you include in it and what spot would you have for them to do?

2) Hornswaggle will be playing an evil leprechaun in Leprachaun: Origins coming out in March 2013.  How should the WWE use the character of Hornswaggle to promote the movie?  

3) You may have heard that the WWE is trying to start its own network.  What show would you make for the network?  Who would be involved?  What would it be like?  

Ummmm.....if anyone else has asked these questions already, let me know and I'll use my back-up question.  I don't want to repeat anyone.  

1.
Scotty 2 Hotty,Godfather,and Brodus in a pimped-out Funkadelic Dance Party.

2.I would bring back the good ol'"Little Bastard" angle.Have him hide under the ring;come out and interfere with random matches,hide in lockers,under the announce table.Maybe pick a midcarder to specifically harrass for a couple of weeks.Finally he tries it on Kane or Big Show and gets DESTROYED in the ring;just in time to promote the movie.

WWE Big Brother
Put 15 Former wwe stars in a house.Fans vote for Their favorite.Winner geta a contract.

[dilbert505]

1) For many, Wrestlemania X7 is considered the best Wrestlemania.  What did X7 have that none of the others had?  A GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL! The Gimmick Battle Royal featured 19 superstars with silly gimmicks such as Duke "The Dumpster" Droese, The Gobbledy-Gooker, and the Goon, although it also included legendary gimmicks like Hillbilly Jim, Iron Sheik, and Sgt Slaughter.  If Wrestlemania 29 has a gimmick battle royal, what three people would you include in it and what spot would you have for them to do?

Creativity demands I leave the participants from the WMX7 Battle Royal aside for the moment. SO, without further ado, your first three entrants into the WM29 Gimmick Battle Royal:

Xanta Klaus, Who, and Kerwin White!

The match comes down to these three, which means it's a perfect time for a promo! Xanta grabs himself a mic, ranting and raving about how good little boys and girls don't deserve toys, and how someone's going to take them from them. At this, Who (probably Neidhart) does the one thing he's useful for: asks who. Xanta Klaus tells them exactly who will be stealing the toys, but Who keeps asking the same question over and over again, almost as though he was the audience parroting Stone Cold, and getting it slightly wrong. This goes on for some time, until Chav... I mean, Kerwin, of course, gets bored of the nonsensical back and forth, and rolls out to his golf cart to pull out his 5-iron. Quickly sliding back in, Xanta and Who are oblivious to their impending golfy doom, and... FORE! The 5-iron splits Xanta's uprights on the backswing, and follows through right into Who's Whatsits. Hastily ejecting them both, he celebrates his victory with a tall glass of milk, some saltines, a white American cheese sandwich, and tickets to Stephen Colbert's Smooth Jazz Mayonnaise Festival, hosted by Wayne Brady.

2) Hornswaggle will be playing an evil leprechaun in Leprachaun: Origins coming out in March 2013.  How should the WWE use the character of Hornswaggle to promote the movie?

Burn his JR hat, for starters.

OK, perhaps I should be more serious. Hornswoggle's a comedy act at best, and hard to take seriously, so the only way to do it is have him start pushing the bounds of what counts as PG. A 3'6" wrestler? Not scary. But if he comes into the ring, starts busting out gruesome looking weaponry, and begins violently assaulting people? That's a different story. Build him up as being sick of the jokes, sick of playing to the crowd, something similar to the Big Show's angle, but with a different motivation. He's not a giant. He's not looking to dominate. Hornswoggle wants revenge. He wants his, and in keeping with the leprechaun theme, he wants gold. To do this, he needs help: the newly returned Mark Henry.

Hornswoggle stops coming out to the happy-go-lucky Irish music and dancing around; now he's darker, carrying weapons, and has the World's Strongest Backup in his corner. The two start taking out tag teams, using Henry's strength and Hornswoggle's willingness to do whatever it takes, and become legitimate threats. The blowoff is a match for the tag team titles, where Henry and Titus O'Neil fight to the back, leaving Hornswoggle and Darren Young in the ring. The ref notices AW trying to interfere on his man's behalf, and forces him to the back... leaving Hornswoggle the perfect opportunity to bust out a lead pipe to Young's kneecap, kidneys, and finally skull. He goes to the corner for the Tadpole Splash, but thinks better of it. Grabbing Young's jaw, he just starts pulling, spreading his face wider, biting and kicking at him all the while, until Young has no choice but to tap out. The Leprechaun has his gold back.

3) You may have heard that the WWE is trying to start its own network.  What show would you make for the network?  Who would be involved?  What would it be like?

One aspect of the business that doesn't get a lot of airplay are the referees. They're in every match but they're usually only good for a bad bump or a horrible missed call, barring the occasional catching the heel cheating. What goes into making them into the men they are? New this season on WWE Network: Earning Your Stripes. Follow the impartial arbiters of the squared circle as they enlist in training, master their job responsibilities, learn how to spot the tell-tale signs of cheating, develop the physical skills necessary to keep up with the WWE Superstars, and graduate from dark matches and NXT to the WWE's main referee roster. Your hosts: Matt Striker and "Little Naitch," Charles Robinson.

[maskedllama]

Judging is harder than I thought.  I'll have the results posted tonight.   

Dang, you people are good at this. 

[maskedllama]

Question 1: Gimmick battle royal
Dilbert505: 5 The exchange between Xanta Claus and Who is perfect! 
Homeless: 4 Bonus points for all the random references. 
Necrobaron 3 I would LOVE to see that dance party!
Jokerfish: 2 The battle for under the ring supremacy made me smile, but the thought of Hornswoggle taking a Last Ride from the ring to the floor made me wince from empathic pain. 
Buddha Dudley: 1 Good use of terrible gimmicks, but the product placement reminded me of the Miller Light Catfight from WM 19 and that hurt your score.  Sorry.

Question 2: Hornswaggle's movie
Buddha Dudley: 5 It sounds terribly cheesy and a perfect fit for what the series has become. 
Jokerfish: 4 I'd pop huge to see Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun on WWE TV.  Good story idea, too.
Dilbert 505 3 It has a good beginning, middle, and end.  The only thing its missing is Warwick Davis. 
Necrobaron 2 I liked the reference to his Little Bastard origin, but didn't see it promoting the movie much.
Homeless:   1 as much as I like Kaientai, he has to have his voice. 


Question 3: New WWE Network Show

Dilbert505:  5 The idea of a show about the refs would probably be very interesting.  I never thought about that idea, actually.
Homeless: 4 I like the idea of the Scott Stanford and Matt Striker ripping on the WWE abridged. The only reason it wasn't 5 is because its similar to the WWE webshow "Are you Serious." 
Buddha Dudley: 3 The idea is good, but the "shoots" would be so watered down it would be tame. Points for using Dean Malenko, though!
Jokerfish: 2 Unfortunately, it'd just be superstars in the car and in the gym alot.
NecroBaron: 1 I can't stand Big Brother, although the "gets a contract" stip might be interesting.

Dilbert 505 picks up the win with 13!
Homeless and Buddha Dudley share the silver with 9
Jokerfish, despite his stylish mask, only walks away with 8, but he has more style points than the other competitors.   
Necrobaron ends the competition with 6.

Thanks to everyone for playing and I'm gonna pass the dungeonmaster trophy off to Dilbert now. 

Unfortunately, my week is really busy, so I won't be able to participate in the next round, so we'll need 5 new competitors.   Good luck! 

[Rein]

Woo Woo Woo, You Know It

[Jokerfish]

What can I say..... I don't like Hornswoggle and I figured a last ride couldn't be any worse than the Press slam tosses he tends to takes from the big fellows.

[Queensryche]

I'm in

[kbjone]

I guess I'll try again.

[Antigoth]

Throws in for #5 slot?

[Daeva]

OK, now we just have to fill maskedllama's vacancy and the next round should be good to go.

[Queensryche]

Still looking for one more.

[SmartAssAssassin]

k im in

[dilbert505]

I'm in DC, we have no power, and my phone's Internet is barely functioning. I'll post questions when I'm home and everything's working. Sorry for the delay.

[dilbert505]

Once again, I'm sorry to have held everything up. It's been too long, so I'm going to get this rolling now. On a separate note, I've opened another thread, with copies of all the questions I can find asked thus far on the Dungeon, so people can get inspiration/check to see if their question has been asked in some form.

Our five contestants (and correct me if I have the list wrong):

Rein
Queensryche
kbjone
Antigoth
SmartAssAssassin

And now, without further ado, the questions!

1. One of the wealthiest known wrestling fans is Ted Turner. It's been a while, he's got an itch to get back into the wrasslin' business, and he's got money burning a hole in his pocket. For whatever reason, he's chosen you to found a company. You get to hire a staff of 25 15-30 wrestlers, none of whom may be under contract to WWE or TNA as of now. You also may not hire more than 5 away from Ring of Honor. What is your fed called, what is it's theme or position in the market, and who have you hired?

2. The wrestling business has a storied history of announcers who, for whatever reason, are considered to be terrible. Yes, Don West, we did see that. No, Tony Schiavone, this is actually a fairly mediocre night, and Mick Foley does put butts in seats. No, Mike Adamle, his last name is "Hardy," not "Harvey." However, sometimes all a bad commentator needs is a great partner, with whom he has chemistry. Michael Cole started to come into his own when paired with JBL, and now that he's with the King, he's the grating, irritating Voice of the WWE. Pick a terrible announcer, then find a partner for them who can help them on the way to respectability, if not greatness. Explain what it is about this partner that plays well with the Awful Announcer's style, and how the pairing will improve the terrible one.

3. Beaver Cleavage. Why?

[Buddha Dudley]

Wow... Asking INDY fans to name 25 wrestlers seems daunting much less asking people who may not be INDY fans to list 25 wrestlers not in TNA/WWE.

[dilbert505]

Wow... Asking INDY fans to name 25 wrestlers seems daunting much less asking people who may not be INDY fans to list 25 wrestlers not in TNA/WWE.

That's a good point, though I fully expect a good number of these names to be people who have recently been future endeavored by one of the big two, foreign stars, or possibly retired names brought back.

I probably should simplify that. I'll accept anywhere between 15-30 names, as long as the theme et. al. are there.

[kbjone]

1: Okay, getting back to this a bit later than intended:

Ted Turner made WTBS on "rasslin'", along with the Braves and Andy Griffith, back in the late 1970's-80s. He's also always had a soft spot for the NWA system. While he's usually a "silent" boss, I think he'd be a little more active here.

The promotion will be Southern, going from New Orleans to Memphis to Richmond to Miami. It'll be named NWA-Southeastern, and unlike WCW, Ted's adamant that we do NOT try to override the NWA board, even if it's low-powered compared to him.

While he's willing to splash some money out, he DOES NOT want a repeat of the NWO issues that helped destroy his WCW. So sorry Batista, no Hogan-like contract for you.

As for TV, we'll start local, filming 4-60 minute episodes once a month. With the main roster, we wrestle Fri-Sat-Sun, covering the Southeast in a whole month.

Main Event: Colt Cabana (NWA champ, used as available)
                   The Sheik
                   Adam Pierce
         (ROH) Shelton Benjamin
         (ROH) Charlie Haas
                   Trevor Murdoch
                   Brent Albright (if he's still with TNA, replace with Kevin Steen (ROH))     
                   Raven
                   
This should make a good start, Cabana being chased by the rest of the roster. I'm aiming for a NWA title change at the first anniversary show, either to Albright or Raven.

There will be a regional heavyweight title, with the holder when Cabana pops in becoming the automatic #1 contender to Cabana's title. I'm planning on no more than 2-3 champs the first year, but I won't pick anyone until I see their performances.

Faces will be Cabana (when in), Benjamin, Hass, and Murdoch. Heels will be Sheik, Pierce, Albright/Steen, Raven (mainly as a "ringleader"/"mentor"... in-ring will be limited)

Midcard/Tag Teams: Shane Twins (I think I could convince them to unretire, especially if the money's right)
                              Dark City Fight Club
                              The Skullkrushers
                              Elix Skipper
                              Amazing Red
                              Kevin Northcutt
                              Chase Stevens
                              Curtis Thompson
                              Air Paris
                                           
I'll leave the last five/six spots open to start... using really local talent and the occassional add-on to build up the main roster. Ted knows that wrestling can be a little expensive, but by sticking to local talent for TV squashes and filler on the weekend cards, I really think we can at least break even by our 1st anniversary. Definitely no multi-million dollar losses (coughWCWcouch) here.

2: My "bad" announcer would be Mark Madden, WCW 2000-01 . Joining him at the booth would be Kevin Nash, with three rules for Mr. Madden:

   1: DO NOT USE CATCHPHRASES.
   2: DO NOT REPEAT YOURSELF.
   3: CALL ONLY WHAT YOU SEE.

Any violation of these rules would be handled on air by Mr. Nash. Best case, Madden becomes a decent PbP guy, letting Nash handle color in his own, "unique" way. Worst case still results in entertainment, with Nash being allowed full leeway.

Madden's slightly irritating: Destroy him verbally.
Madden crosses a line: Smack to the back of the head
Madden disrespects wrestling/wrestler/Nash: POOCHIEBOMB!

Oh, and if he wants to "strike back" through a newspaper column... yeah, that one will get laughed out the park.

3: Hey, the mom/girlfriend was pretty hot. And it can't be any worse than being Meat.

But seriously, Vince has always had a thing for "taboo" ideas. Necrophilia with Kane/Katie Vick, (sorta) incest with Stephanie (and a great [ly shitty] "I Quit" match out of it), adultery with Trish/random babe of the month, child abuse with Shane/Zack Gowen/Million Dollar Man picking on kid, homophobia with Hogan's promo/HeidenCole/Adrian Adonis, it goes on and on...

Did Vinnie Mac have the hots for his own mom at one time... maybe. Considering his wife's looked like a grandma for at least 20 years now... he just might have a thing for older women. Who knows?

[Antigoth]

1. One of the wealthiest known wrestling fans is Ted Turner. It's been a while, he's got an itch to get back into the wrasslin' business, and he's got money burning a hole in his pocket. For whatever reason, he's chosen you to found a company. You get to hire a staff of 25 15-30 wrestlers, none of whom may be under contract to WWE or TNA as of now. You also may not hire more than 5 away from Ring of Honor. What is your fed called, what is it's theme or position in the market, and who have you hired?

So per Ted's instructions, it's always best to buy an existing Wrestling Organization rather than start completely from scratch. So rather then just start a company outright, we buy out WAR Ohio Wrestling. Known as Wrestling and Respect, Ted informs me, "We don't need to respect TNA or WWE, and I want 'rasslin'" So it's simple re-branded to:
We
Are
Rasslin'

The exisiting WAR roster becomes the developmental league/federation, and will retain it's WAR Ohio Designation and facebook.

Ted remembers that having Alundra Blaze drop the WWE Women's title in the Trash bin was absolutely critical to part of the WCW success, and the start of the Monday Night Wars. He's heard the criticism that WWE isn't actually letting their women wrestle. He's seen how much buzz TNA got over their Tara & Mickie feuds, plus what they accomplished with the Beautiful people. So he says get some women rasslers!

Happy to oblige, we make a massive buzz signing the following women:

Amy Dumas
Serena Deeb
Maryse Ouellet
Melina Perez
Madison Eagles
Cheerleader Melissa
Nicole Matthews
Draculetta AKA Shannon Claire Spruill

Not only are they hot, they're skilled, and they've been rated as some of the best in the world. Of course to help get as much press about it as possible, Maryse and Sereena are sent to Playboy.

However the Initial Women's championship gets placed on Draculette, who holds the belt for about 6 months, feuding initially with Cheerleader Melissa, and then Nicole Matthews.

There will be as much story with the Women's wrestling as with the men. Building legitimate feuds that involve more then titles and tits and ass. (Even though there is some fantastic tits and ass in the above group) They will get roughly equal TV time to the men, but the paramount piece is that they will be empowered and treated with respect rather than made to be powerpuff girls.

///

The guys division starts with a relatively small roster of guys 13 in total to begin:

Batista  <Heavyweight Champion>
Luke Gallows
Takashi Sugiura
Christopher Mordetzky
Hassan Hamin Assad
The Master of the Dark Hadou - Kenny Omega
Colt Cabana
Dara Daivari  - Because I want the Magic Carpet Ride!!!
John Hennigan
The Ghost of the Macho-Man - Jay Lethal!
Nigel McGuinness
Brian Kendrick
Paul London

Batista starts face, in part to tie into his role and help cross promote Riddick 3. <Vin Diesel movie, also staring Katie Sackhoff>

The heel stable will be the "International Men of Mystery" who start with Hassan Hamin Assad <MVP>,  Dara Daivari, Takashi Sugiura, and managed by Nigel McGuinness.

Daivari ends up getting over because of the Magic Carpet Ride, ends up turning face. Frustrated by the lack of recognition, the IMoM introduce WAR's second belt: The WAR International Championship.

Initially held by Assad, Daivari ends up winning it about 6 months in (as part of the feud split), and the belt sees a quick change of hands after that, with London winning it, after interference from the IMoM to further the Daivari/IMoM Feud.


Ted pulls some strings, and War gets a 2 hour slot on Fox during the Friday Death Slot. While there is some gimickry and promos, the ability of the Wrestlers is showcased. Submissions / 5 moves of doom/ back and forth action - Ted Fondly recalls enjoying the Wrestling that was happening back in WcW back around 97, and is hoping for that depth of programming, and with these Wrestlers, we're certainly able to deliver.

'Nuff Said?

2. The wrestling business has a storied history of announcers who, for whatever reason, are considered to be terrible. Yes, Don West, we did see that. No, Tony Schiavone, this is actually a fairly mediocre night, and Mick Foley does put butts in seats. No, Mike Adamle, his last name is "Hardy," not "Harvey." However, sometimes all a bad commentator needs is a great partner, with whom he has chemistry. Michael Cole started to come into his own when paired with JBL, and now that he's with the King, he's the grating, irritating Voice of the WWE. Pick a terrible announcer, then find a partner for them who can help them on the way to respectability, if not greatness. Explain what it is about this partner that plays well with the Awful Announcer's style, and how the pairing will improve the terrible one.

Josh Matthews of WWE Fame paired with Don Callis of WWF/ECW/TNA Fame.

Cyrus would end up mocking Matthews when he made noob mistakes / sounding green and inexperienced.
Cyrus would end up focusing Matthews back on the match, and talking about the match at hand, rather then day dreaming off about the valet at ringside.

3. Beaver Cleavage. Why?

1) It was the start of the Attitude Era. Vince was pushing the envelope, and this was a simple no brainer. It had all the elements to get Chas over, if he could just suck it up. The puns were easy and cheap, and the skit wrote itself.
2)  Vince likes to punish guys who piss him off. Chas clearly had an ego, and pissed Vince off, so to take he down a few notches, he forced him into the Beaver role. Because it was the attitude era, it was sort of planned all along that he'd go on to be a wife beater instead. (It's arguable that the Wife beater role was any better than Beaver.) Also, by allowing him to break Character and break out of the Beaver role, it furthered the Kayfabe "shoot" aura that was going on at the time.
3) Something was needed to fill time until Thrasher came back from Injury. So really - furthering the whole worked/shoot where "Did you see him drop character!" Enhanced the Attitude Era, was something that filled the time until Thrasher was back. Plus this was Vince's way of seeing if Chas had that "it" that would let him make it on the singles scene, rather than leaving him tied up as part of the Headbangers tag-team.

[Antigoth]

Oh... rather then editing, just as an add on to my answer to questions #1.

Marty Derosa is brought in as a writer for WAR. He's part on screen, and there is a weekly "Creative's got nothing for you." With Colt, except we actually get to see the results of the Creative's got nothing for you wrestled out this time.

[Rein]

Petey Williams, John Hennigan, , Jay Lethal, Alpha Male Monty Brown, James Hall, Teddy Hart,, Mike Kruel, Uhaa Nation, Johnny Gargono, 2 Cold Scorpio, David Hart Smith, Carlito, Fit Finlay, Chris Masters, Low Ki

"Upper card":
Hennigan/Montry/Lethal/Uhaa

Tag Team Divisino:
The Resistance (Rene/Sylvan), Jay and Mark Briscoe, The WGTT, and The Young Bucks

Bombshell Division:
Sara Del Ray, Melina Perez, MsChif, Jessica Havok, Cherry Bomb, Isis The Amazon, Angelina Love

Ric Flair signed as the "face" of the company, in a similar role to a GM

(A few may be in ROH so I may have broken the 5 rule *I HAVE TILL FIVE*, but I rarely ever follow anything ROH so my bad if I did)

We are just bringing back some of the top free agents and veteran presence of Finlay/Scorpio and putting on a bit older school feel.  We aren't aiming to compete with WWE, as that's a fight to lose.  We are going to get our niche fans and promote largely online and through traveling and word of mouth, but with the roster and Turners promotion abilities we can build from here.

And fyi, James Hall is my indy wrestling owner and I would legitimately include him.  Young, fast learner, and for a 6'3 250 pound guy he can do some amazing stuff, Coast 2 Coast, etc.  Check this quick 3 minute video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_x7s5aTnE0&list=UUH92ZEr8LG_tHGAcy4L3vrw&index=7&feature=plcp

2)  Prepare for hate, but I am absolutely opposed to Jerry Lawler on commentary now.  But I would have him go back to more of "puppies" Lawler, and pair him with....Lance Storm.  Lawlers offbeat humour paired up with Storms on air calling of the action would be great in my mind.

3)  Vince Russo

[Queensryche]

1. Alright, I'm gonna go and assume that a best-case scenario plays out with who I get on my roster. This is because if I've got Billionaire Ted's money behind me, I can make a sweet enough deal for The Human Tornado to come out of retirement. So with that, here's the core roster I'd have:

-Human Tornado
-Carly Colon
-Jack Evans
-Joey Ryan
-Colt Cabana
-Luke Gallows
-Chuck Taylor
-John Morrison
-Chris Masters (under another name of course)
-El Generico
-Kevin Steen
-KENTA
-The Briscoe Brothers
-The Hooligans (London & Kendrick)
-The Young Bucks

I'd base the promotion on the thing which drew people to the NWA in the mid and late 80s: athletic action being at the forefront, with storylines to draw people into a feud. I'd call this fed All-World Championship Wrestling, with the tagline "The World's Finest".

Plus, I'd attempt to not insult the intelligence of the audience, particularly with referees. Referees would use common sense. If a double-team happens and the face tells the ref to look, the ref would *GASP* look, and after spotting the double-team, let the face in to break it up. The refs would be able to take a bump and not have it be devastating. Also, I'd take a part of ECW's philosophy: each match would have a definitive end. So no disqualifications in title matches, and no BS finishes. There'd be a winner and loser.

2. I'd pair Tony Schiavone with someone whose comments he'd be willing to acknowledge, either because he respects them or because he fears them. He was decent in calling matches with Jesse Ventura, simply because he was willing to acknowledge Ventura and even at times concede that Ventura had a point. For whatever reason, he didn't give that same respect to Heenan most of the time (when he did, he was decent). I'd have him paired with JBL, because JBL was excellent as a color guy, and because Schiavone would be afraid of retaliation from JBL. He'd certainly acknowledge JBL.

3. Vince has mental issues. His biological father abused him, and he's not completely healthy mentally. Unfortunately, Vince is either too busy to see a psychiatrist, or too cheap to pay for one and the medication, so he concocts these angles as a (highly ineffective) form of therapy.

A clean house is the sign of a wasted life