JBL, Week 3: Money v. the Law

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[Daeva]

<Jeremy Borash is walking past Trish Stratus' office with a cameraman, heading toward JBL's locker room.>

JB: We're going to try and get a few words from John "Bradshaw" Layfield about his match with Gavin Payne this week...

<From behind the camera, Trish's door bursts open. The camera wheels around to show JBL storming out of the office, his hat held in a death-grip in his right hand. His face is twisted in a grimace of anger and concern.>

JBL: JESUS H. CHRIST! Don't you cameramen learn not to stand right in front of people's doors?!

JB: Mr. Layfield, we were just heading to your locker room, do you have a few words for the CWA fans about your match with Gavin Payne?

<JBL looks even more exasperated at the mention of Payne's name.>

JBL: A few words?! Jimmy, I've just been spending the last ten minutes trying to figure out how in the Blue Hell Trish could hire a bloodsucking lawyer to be a wrestler!

JB: So it bothers you that Gavin Payne is a prosecuting attorney?

JBL: Jimmy, have you ever BEEN in a courtroom? Hell, boy, you're barely old enough to have jury duty! Prosecutors enjoy tearing apart people like me, they all have a chip on their shoulder against corporations!

JB: Um, Mr. Layfield, I don't think prosecutors work quite like that...

JBL: How the hell would you know? Now I have to figure out how I'm gonna pin this guy without getting sued! The legal fees alone would tear up my paycheck from this week.

JB: Do you have any words for Gavin Payne, Mr. Layfield?

JBL: Gavin Payne, even though you're a bloodsucker and one of the scariest things on this whole damn planet, I am still a Great American. I've got a team of lawyers in my locker room, we're going to go over every single legal document in the damn building and figure out a way to win this. Payne, I'm gonna send you back to the courtroom, where you can get your feeding frenzy in without coming into MY ring and using all of your cheap legal tricks. Rest assured, Mr. Prosecutor, my guys are the best because I PAY them to be the best, and they're gonna get me out of this.

JB: Bradshaw, I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is...

<JBL shoves Jeremy out of the way as he storms off toward the locker room.>

JBL: I don't pay you to think, Jimmy!

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