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• (August 06, 2008, 10:47:20 PM)

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[Niki Heber]

sidenote:  wow, i haven't been on here in a while, let alone post something. 

i've turned into a workaholic.  I have always had an obsessive personality.  I go home every night reviewing what I did wrong that day, and what I could have done better.  It's never about what I did right that day and anything positive.  I've always focused on the negative.  Even when everyone around me says what a good job I did or how hard I work, I always feel that it's not enough. 

It hit me tonight as I was driving that I put myself against impossible standards.  Every day I walk into work and feel that I need another whole day to finish what I want to finish, even though the people around me (including my boss) are pefectly happy with the work I put in that day. 

There's a lot more that i could and probably should put into writing, but I'm gonna end it here.  I think if i keep going down the way i'm going, I think it's gonna burn me out before i'm even 30.

[Antigoth]

::hugs::

I think this *really* calls for a road trip to Minny to come hang out with you or something.

Aristotle said something to the effect of:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

As long as you are effectively managing your time, then it's great. Are you working more then 40 hours a week?
If Yes - your new task is to figure out how to do your awesome job that you're doing in 40 hours.
If you want to talk more about it, I think you know where to find me.



 

[Niki Heber]

i work anywhere from 50 to 75 hours a week.  I can go for 2 to 3 week stretches without a day off.  management of time does not happen in the restaurant industry.

I no longer have a personal life.  I spend every waking moment either working or quietly reflecting on the my work life.  I sleep maybe 5 hours a night.

I'm in a lot deeper crap than you'd think.

[Antigoth]

i work anywhere from 50 to 75 hours a week.  I can go for 2 to 3 week stretches without a day off.  management of time does not happen in the restaurant industry.

I no longer have a personal life.  I spend every waking moment either working or quietly reflecting on the my work life.  I sleep maybe 5 hours a night.

I'm in a lot deeper crap than you'd think.

Are they paying you OT?

What happens if you did take a day off?

[CreedP]

I no longer have a personal life.  I spend every waking moment either working or quietly reflecting on the my work life.  I sleep maybe 5 hours a night.
I'm in a lot deeper crap than you'd think.

Breathe, buddy.  I admire your passion for cooking and such, but you have to make sure you don't burn yourself out on it.

Take a breather, take time to slow down and just be Niki Heber, guy having fun. 

CREED

[Mitch!]

I haven't seen you for like a good 6 months at least im pretty sure or even heard from you till i called u the other day, and thats about all i really found out from you is your working, and living up there that was pretty much it :/

[frieza470]

Niki,
I love you man, I haven't seen you since you moved to miny.  I miss you, and I'll be in Mineapolis the weekend of the 14th.  On to the meat and potatoes.  I know exactly what your going through, I was working 60 hours a week up here in des moines.  My social life was gone, and pretty much hated my existance.  Granted I had sat/sun off, so I was working 60 hours in 5 days which is no fun.  I often found myself just sleeping on the weekend, or being so withdrawn from everything that I was a hermit in my room just to get some peace and quiet. 

Sadly in this country Corporations(no matter how big or small) are taking full advantage of people like us.  They love having someone who will sacrifice everything to improve their bottom line.  Funny thing is when I asked to have my job seperated out (which the workload was tripled on me to begin with) I was let go within a week.  Granted I found another job in 3 days, but that's not the point.  If you look around and actually look into whats going on.  Company's are posting record profits while still laying people off.  Harley Davidson is a good example of this.  Last quarter they posted something like a 50 million dollar profit, and still plan on letting go 2000 more jobs by the end of the year, which is 1/5 of their work force.

About the only thing I can suggest is listen to the guys above.  I wouldn't openly voice your concerns like me, but I would figure out how to delegate the time better so your atleast working close to 50 hours a week.  Maybe it could be something as simple as saying "this week i'm going to try and get out of there 15-20 minutes earlier then normal every day* then just work from there. 

Im just concerned because your my friend, and obvious health risks associated with sleep deprevation, and overworking.  Your body could simply just shut down, or you could develope CFS which is something i'm currently trying to kick which is pretty hard to do.  Anyways I've sent you my new Cell phone number through a PM.  Get a hold of me, or let me know what your number is so I can reach out to you.

[piperspitt]

I'm assuming that you are salaried management. If you are, and you are working more than 60 hours a week, you have a lot of room to grow your effectiveness. I have been salaried management for the last 12 years at my job and can give some pointers if you fit that description.

[frieza470]

Last I knew he was hourly just like me. 

[DogTheUnemployed]

They always say that noticing that there is a problem is the 1st step towards solving it. I am not sure what the particulars of your situation are, but even Superman would be worn down after 2-3 weeks of 50-75 hours. Best for your sanity and health to take a moment for yourself. As long as the only one taking issue with the quality of your work or the quantity of hours that you put in is yourself, you should be more than deserving of it.

[Niki Heber]

i'm salaried these days.  granted, it's the most  money i've ever made in my life (which if you look at the numbers isn't really saying much).

but anyways, aside from taking 1 week off + 3 days off for personal reasons, i haven't worked less than 60 hours a week since march, usually in 5 days, some weeks, i work all 7 days. 

[Mitch!]

if you take some time off and decide to come down here let me know, we will do stuff and whatnot

[The Softcore Legend]

Niki,

Does your work define you?  Or are you more than just your job?  Some people are career oriented, they love what they do and all of their accomplishments are shown in their career. 

Other people use work as a means to an end.  I started off believing that I was career oriented.  I was going to be a big choir director, and work in a high school putting on musicals and such.  I have the skills to do it, and I gave a go at it.  I found that my heart wasn't into it as much as I thought it was.  When you teach, or probably work at any salaried job as a manager of anything, you tend to take your work home with you.  And if you don't you feel guilty that you are not thinking about work. 

After about 2 years of feeling that way, I came to realize that I did NOT want to be career oriented.  What I really wanted was a Family, a nice place to live, and a Job that I didn't have to think about 24/7.  It is important to not hate the work you do, and you should take pride in your work, but it should not be the only thing that defines you.

Life is to short not to enjoy it.  What good is more money than you've ever made if you don't have time to enjoy it, or anyone to enjoy it with? 

To me, my job is a means to an end.  It pays the bills I need it to, and allows me to live the life I want to live.
(Currently I work in construction, and after 2 years they're putting me in charge of certain projects.  Turns out music wasn't the only thing I was good at...)  It is a job I think about at home from time to time, but it does not dominate my life, and if it did, I'd want out.

Niki so many people Love and Miss you.  You are one of the most interesting people I've ever met, and one of the major influences on how I approach life.  The biggest thing I learned from you was not to look at life with tunnel vision.  You taught me to try things that I would never try, and to respect and understand the diversity of peoples.  You are a DAMN GOOD COOK, but you're a better friend, and you'd make a good husband and Father. 

My wife went through what you are going through now as a pre-school teacher.  She'd go into school at 6:00am and get home at 5:00pm.  Then, she would stay up until 3:00am working on school stuff.  IT WAS CRAZY!  THEY'RE PRE-SCHOOLERS!
She has since come around to NOT spending so much time at school and is realizing that the most important thing in her life is her Baby and her Husband.  She is still good at what she does and works hard at it, but it no longer consumes her.  She said that she had to learn to say no.  Mostly to herself, when she wanted to spend her free time working on school things.  It has worked.

Maybe you're not a family man (I think you are), but you are a Social Creature.  In D&D, I'd give you a 17 base Charisma Score.  You need to be social, It is who you are.  Maybe you might think about a job that gets you more face time with the public,  or maybe one that you work 40 hrs a week and still have a life.  Think about this, right now you probably work 60 hrs a week on average with no one to share life with.  If you had some Lady friend who also worked, your life might look like this:  You work 40 hrs, she works 40 hours, and you share the bills.  It's not a bad situation.  Something to think about.

Gotta go, my wife wants me...

[piperspitt]

Much of what you can do depends much on your direct supervisor. Most of these guys will not tell you specifically to work x amount of hours, but they will use other words to make you feel like they do. Here's how you fix it.
1. Delegate: find some reliable people to help you out, they won't be as good as you, but they don't need to be.

2. Set rigid times for yourself when you can. If you're scheduled 9-6, leave at 6 unless it's absolutely necessary to stay. Most stuff can be finished by others.

3. Train others to do what you do. Don't worry that you might become expendable, because you won't be anymore expendable than you already are.

4. Limit distractions. When you need to focus on a job, put up the don't disturb sign and let somebody else handle everything else for the hour or two you need to focus.

5 Avoid the wall. Once you hit the wall of tired, you become less effective. You will accomplish more in 5 10 hour shifts, than you will in 6 12 hour shifts. When you spend too much time working your brain loses focus.

[Niki Heber]

I feel that, yes, my job does define who i am right now.  I love what i do.  It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life, but it comes with some glaring drawbacks (like the ones mentioned above).  I believe you have to truly love what you do to be truly good at it.  I love the adrenaline rush of dinner service, constantly prioritizing what needs to be done while cooking. I love the act of chopping vegetables. I love hearing the hiss of meat on a well-heated, lightly oiled pan.  I love the feeling of salt between the fingertips, I love taking that first sip of beer after a long shift, knowing that a lot of people went home happy.  But as much as I love this crap, I know that my time is limited and that I'm easily replaced.

In this industry, your time as a cook is limited.  Nobody tells you, but from the point that a perspective employer meets you, they are judging you in the worst way possible (how old is he/she?  how fat is he/she? Are they an illegal immigrant? How clean do they look?  What's with the tattoos?  How long is his hair?). It may be illegal in every way, but it's the truth. 

How long can you stay effective behind a stove, constantly dropping to your knees / bending down into an oven ~200 times in a night? 
How long before the arthritis hits and you're no longer able to hold a knife, and you need those onions sliced NOW? 
How long before the guy with the gang tattoos starts fighting with the prep cook? 
How can you possibly move behind someone who is fat enough to take up all the space on the line?  (professional kitchens have very small places to walk between the stove and your prep table.  imagine a space half the size of the space between tables in a gaming room at a major con.  now imagine a guy the size of Wes Victory trying to get past someone standing there.  ain't gonna effing happen.)

Nobody says it in the industry, but after the age of 35, your cooking career is pretty much over.  you better have gotten the experience before then to lead a kitchen properly, to handle the money in a restaurant and to make some damn pretty food.  And just remember, there's always a line of immigrants and younger cooks who are willing to work harder than you, faster than you, longer than you, and for cheaper than you.

I have to use this time when I am still viable to get as much mileage out of my career so I can become a good chef later on.

piper, great tips overall, but but they don't necessarily apply in a small restaurant capacity. 

Delegate and training:  every cook on staff currently (including myself (the sous-chef) and my boss/chef/owner)  can do everything that needs to be done.  If any of us disappears, the place can run, maybe not as smoothly, but it can run.

Limiting distractions:  great idea, but the ability to multi-task is better suited in our industry.  during prep, when you've got 6 different things working on the stove, on top of 3 different items cooking at different times in 3 different ovens with temperatures, a mountain of fish needing to be butchered, and an equal sized mountain of produce needing to be chopped/sliced/diced/minced to pre-specified sizes and the need to label, date, sort, and rotate stock in our walk-in cooler and freezer, you can't uni-task.  let's look at during dinner service:  you have 3 tickets on the board, each with 4 people's orders, each one different, each one at different stages of cooking, each needing different pans with different sides/sauces, on top of that, you have to make sure the meat that you are cooking is cooked to the correct temperatures and rested properly before they hit the plate always being mindful of your oven/flattop/grill's hotspots. you are dealing now with 15 to 30 pans at different stages of cooking.  You are doing all this while you probably have more food in your ovens needing to be checked, and food ready to be plated, and 2 more tables just walked in the door.  all the while, Nobody in the dining room could care whether or not you're busy.

Setting rigid times:  a great idea, but my times are dictated by my customers.  If you were to show up 10 minutes before closing and wanted a 5 course meal + wine with 3 friends, I can't say no, that's too good of money to pass up.  That'll add another hour - 2 hours onto my finishing time.  in that case, after course 1 or 2, i'd tell my 2 other cooks to close up what they can and leave, leaving me to finish the last 3 courses by myself, washing the floor/ovens/grill/flattop, wiping down all the tables.   The reason?  labor budget.  I, as a salaried employee, sit outside of the labor budget.  My hourly employees making anywhere between 12 to 14 dollars an hour, already pulling a couple hours of overtime, can't be kept around since I would lose money on them.  That 4 top with the 5 course meals would ring up at around ~400 dollars, but ideally, 30% goes to pay for labor, 30% goes to pay for food, and 30% goes to pay for the overhead of the restaurant (insurance, utilities, rent, etc.), the final 10% kept by the restaurant as 'profit' (so... ~$40).  We have to cut as many corners as we can to make money, but we can't sacrifice quality so to save as much money as we can, i'd let my cooks/dishwasher/all unnecessary staff go for the night and myself and one server would finish out.

I work when the rest of the world plays.  We are at our busiest on weekends, or weekdays between 7 and 8 o'clock.  currently, i don't have major responsibilities outside of paying bills.  I don't have a wife/kid to take care of, and my priorities are different.  I know that can change very quickly, but right now, it's what it is.  I've made decisions to make my life easier down the road, but at times i feel that i might not even make it to that point in good shape.

[CreedP]

Wow, dude.  My respect level for you just went through the roof.  

Maybe its time to upgrade your job, then, look for something that will at least get you a higher prestige so you can move up in the world.  And you can become my ultimate Hero and get a slot on Hell's Kitchen.  

EDIT: To add... I've only ever done fast food & pizza, but I know where you're coming from.  Honing your craft, trying to focus on everything at once, and make everything 100% perfect as fast as possible...  I miss that.  I've actually thought about getting in to cooking, but clearly I'm way too old for it despite my leet ninja skills. 

Anyway, big props for finding what you love and working your ass off at it.  Just have a plan B in mind. 

CREED

[piperspitt]

It sounds as if you would be misclassified as salary exempt in many states. In most states, in order to be classified as salary exempt, 51% of your weekly work must be managing and not doing tasks that hourly associates do. I hope you see some type of benefit for increased business rather than make the same pay that you would just floating by.  Either way your dedication, reliability, and understanding that the customers dictate your business will get you far in life.

[The Softcore Legend]

I love that hells kitchen show.  Gordon Ramsey reminds me of Niki.  I like what he said the other night:

"Imagine if you will, your favorite dish. The most exquisit food you've ever tasted.  I've tasted better."

I agree with creed, start looking to advance.  You've proven your hard work and dedication in this very forum.  Get a job where you get a little more credit for what you do, and have the confidence in yourself that you really are that good.  What ever you do, DON'T BURN OUT!  I've seen you like that, its not pretty....

[Niki Heber]

I've been having feelings of being ready to move on.  Whether it is up and further in the same company, or into another one, or finding investors and getting one of my own.  I'm not even sure Minnesota is the right place for me.  if anyone's got a place for me to crash while I find a new place next year, let me know ;P

[Mitch!]

U can stay on my couch if you like, we wouldn't mind, but be warned I would demand you cook for us.

[CreedP]

I've been having feelings of being ready to move on.  Whether it is up and further in the same company, or into another one, or finding investors and getting one of my own.  I'm not even sure Minnesota is the right place for me.  if anyone's got a place for me to crash while I find a new place next year, let me know ;P

Well dude, you put me up once, you'd totally be welcome on my couch..

...except...

.......then you'd be stuck in Okie-land.    And I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  haha

CREED

[Antigoth]

Niki if you want to come up to the great white north to visit - I have a guest room.

[frehocc]

I have a room in Singapore.

Edit: Free foodie tour included..

[Niki Heber]

frankie, i might have to take you up on that someday.

thanks for all the support and kind words guys, there's a reason that this is the best online community based on a card game ever.

[BigJohnStudd]

Hey Niki I know Eli and I would do what we could if you wanted to come to the Des Moines area. Our couch isn't the most comfortable but dont tell our roommate that (inside joke)

If I had the capital I would so start a restaurant down here and hire you... I've wanted to do that for years. The restaurant part not necessarily hire you lol 

Doubt is an Infection - CM Punk